You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Sober January is a disaster.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
