I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
