We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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