WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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