I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
