Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
