I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
