There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Be still, my beating vagina.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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