I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
