Apparently you make a good broom.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
a search helicopter?!
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
