Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
