I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
