my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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