The beer is more important than you right now.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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