we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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