Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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