Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
