i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize
