Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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