Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
