Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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