Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
