i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
