i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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