you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
