hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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