I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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