try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
