the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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