You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
