If i come over, it means nothing
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
