If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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