Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
