I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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