She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
