One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
