Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
