wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
