idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
