Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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