i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I wear drunk well.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
