Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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