First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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