walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
