Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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