I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
