what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
