I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
