So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
