my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
if only i could text you this smell
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Everclear isn't food dammit
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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