All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
