Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
